Off the rails!!!

Yes, that's right folks -- I'm off the track and careening towards a brick wall at about 150 miles per hour. This day has been an absolute nightmare. I just hate it when my spouse is on call, and this week is brutal. He's been out three days this week, and it's only Wednesday. What's the weekend going to be like??? Every day, he's up at 5:45 and out the door by 7:00 -- earlier if the pager goes off. Work all day, in the heat and humidity. Come home, grab a bite, and off again. Last night he was out until 12:30 AM and still had to get up at 5:45 to go in for a full day of work. This is so unfair. It seems like an OSHA violation or something. By rights, he should have at least the opportunity to sleep for eight hours!!!

The truck he drives is in the neighborhood of 14,000 pounds. Driving while sleep deprived is tantamount to driving drunk. The only saving grace is that when he is home, I insist that he nap in the evenings. The long and short of this is that I am a functional single parent for the week. The kids hate that they don't see him. He gets short tempered. We don't talk, other than pressing business or table talk at meals. And I become an over-functioning crazy woman.

Add to this lethal cocktail a set of raging PMS hormones, and you've got a recipe for disaster. I already feel totally isolated with the kids at home and no school to occupy them. So I become Julie McCoy, your cruise director. I'm practically tap dancing on the table and spitting nickles to keep them entertained and happy. The BIG kid (husband) is moody, tired, and care-worn. So, more tap dancing from me to try to keep him happy too! Only, sometimes there is just no pleasing him. He's miserable and just wants to BE miserable. Which makes ME miserable. But, you see, I am not allowed to be miserable. Because I'm Julie McCoy, your perky cruise director. With an eating disorder.

Tonight started innocently enough. Had a little of the pasta I made for the family, while I ate my measured pre-selected healthy meal. The healthy meal was good.......the pasta was DELICIOUS!!!! I could have gone face down in the pot. But did not. Later in the evening, the kids wanted a snack, so they got out the sourdough pretzels. Fine, I'll have one too. Or two. Or three. (This is not looking good!) Finally, the kids are in bed (after 10:00 yet again) and I get out the baked Lays. The bliss of the Zen of crunch cannot be described. I became ONE with the chips. No idea how many I ate. Just feel salty and bloaty now!

Okay, children, now what have we learned? My triggers: stress, PMS, boredom, loneliness, feeling neglected, feeling unseen, feeling taken advantage of, insomnia and fatigue. That's a mighty long list, campers. Hard to overcome even one or two binge triggers. But NINE??? Sorry kids, but today was a wash!!!

Like the song says: Wake me up when September ends......only my song goes: Wake me up when your call week ends!